Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

hello everyone. today has been another today. though different from yesterday, it is basically the same. anw, today is better than yesterday. no wonder it says tomorrow will be a better day. ok crap.

got back chinese econs and gp essay results today. shall disclose it some other day or never. well, so far, im happy with my results. ((:

watched DISNEY CHANNEL ORIGINAL MOVIE : HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL this afternoon. IT'S SUPER GOOD.

im replacing some of zhiyang's mp3 with those from high school musical. yayyy. ((: no more a cheena girl. but zhiyang still rocks ok.
and jonathan's SO NICE. he sent me all those tracks. did a little exchange with yanda too. HAHA.

ok. im sounding childish. im sleepy.

rock tml. i tink im gonna be a stone. i hope i don't shriek again. how embarassing.

i'll share this snippet of the musical with all of you tonight. fantastic ok. EVEN JONATHAN AND YANDA AGREED. and they are BOYS OK. Vanessa Anne Hudgens' vocals are simply beautiful. and she's gorgeous ok. a perfect duet with Zac Efron.

the codes refused to work. click to be directed to youtube. HERE HERE HERE!
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL ROCKS MY SOCKS! SO HAPPY! (:

MUSICALS ROXX.

somehow, high school musical reminds me of temasek secondary's musical, journey. and i remember kenneth too. how time flies, doesn't it?

someone's blasting where is the love? by BEP, somewhere. madness. now i remember matilda and me in our sec 2 days. twisting the lyrics to fit the scenario whereby i failed my lit test. haha :X


look at what - BlankedOut - Driftin aka KEITH WONG WENJIE. said .

- BlankedOut - Driftin says:
eh u also watch the high sch musical?
- BlankedOut - Driftin says:
not bad sia i must admit

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL IS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!!
encore telecast : DISNEY CHANNEL , cabletv channel 33, SUNDAY 2nd JULY, 730pm (i think).

WATCH WATCH WATCH.
_______________

this is not out of the blue.
but, yes.
i miss you, Kenneth.
i miss you.
hope u're doing fine. ((:
i'm still loving dearly.
and i'll be here if you need me.
i loved you then.
i love you still.
i will never stop loving you.
love.

_________________
byebye. i wanna change blogskin. haha. :X



Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

a msn conversation with a stranger. a freaky one at that.

Egoiste says:
samsamsam
Egoiste says:
haha
Egoiste says:
samson
Egoiste says:
gt ur msn frm friendster
Egoiste says:
:D
jazreel. says:
isee, ;D
Egoiste says:
:D
Egoiste says:
how old would u be?
jazreel. says:
17.
jazreel. says:
well u?
Egoiste says:
18
Egoiste says:
:D
Egoiste says:
which sch?
jazreel. says:
tpjc.
jazreel. says:
u?
Egoiste says:
ic ic
Egoiste says:
poly student
Egoiste says:
:(
Egoiste says:
tempinese jc?
jazreel. says:
yeaps.
jazreel. says:
which poly??
Egoiste says:
rp
Egoiste says:
:(
Egoiste says:
nvm

Egoiste says:
anw..u gt a bf?
jazreel. says:
erh nopes.
Egoiste says:
i see cool
Egoiste says:
u gt hp?
jazreel. says:
yea. but i dont xchange no. s laa :X haha.
jazreel. says:
for one , i wont have enough sms to go around.
jazreel. says:
zzz
Egoiste says:
so i cant call u aLSO??
jazreel. says:
haha apparently not cos i havent got free icoming / outgoing.
jazreel. says:
anw , u're called sam ??
Egoiste says:
no
jazreel. says:
oh nono. samson . pardon my mistake
Egoiste says:
nvm
Egoiste says:
nt impt about my name
jazreel. says:
lol. but its basic courtesy i suppose.?
Egoiste says:
nvm
Egoiste says:
since we are also not gonna contact each other right
jazreel. says:
:X
jazreel. says:
that'squite v practical of u.
jazreel. says:
oh well, fine then.
Egoiste says:
yah
Egoiste says:
cuz u chose it that way
Egoiste says:
so yah
Egoiste says:
i'll tell the my response to ur kinda way
jazreel. says:
sure thing.
Egoiste says:
ya
Egoiste says:
ok
Egoiste says:
u can actually block and del. me too
Egoiste says:
thanks
Egoiste says:
bye


MACAM I NEED HIM TO TELL ME TO DELETE AND BLOCK HIM. AND ITS NOT AS IF I HAVENT GOT ENOUGH PEOPLE TO SMS. I DONT NEED TO WASTE MY TIME ON RANDOM PEOPLE LIKE YOU, FREAK.
AND EVEN THOUGH I HATE TPJC FOR SOME REASONS, PLEASE AT LEAST SPELL TAMPINES CORRECTLY COS' I CAN SPELL RP IN FULL. LIKE, REPUBLIC POLYTECHNIC IN WOODLANDS, NORTH OF SINGAPORE.
IF YOU'RE DESPERATE FOR A GIRLFRIEND DEN GO LOOK FOR ONE IN THE BIN. DON'T GIVE ME THAT PISSED OFF ATTITUDE. YOU HAVENT GOT THE RIGHTS TO BE DOING THAT, MORON.

i'm just this close to splurting the eff word. don't test my patience.
i don't say the eff word unless im superbly uberly throughly MAD ANGRY AND RAGED.

you're lucky.

___________
today is a really bad day. slept at 5am last 'night'. did gp essay. teevee-ed. and read a wonderful book. had only 1h30mins of sleep. went to school feeling all rotten. TOTALLY ROTTEN. i shan't go into the details.

___________

the common tests are over. i finally completed my GP assignments with the help of RYAN LUCINDA SHIDA and JAZREEL.

jazreel did the essay all by herself within the stipulated 1hr30mins and could even sms sabrina. YES! i'm finally learning to stop myself from overwriting.

rockclimbing today. (i really really really wanted to pontang cos i was so freakinggg freakingishly tired.) im not lying.

i want to watch tv. ok anyway. since the exams are over, i have to start doing up a few things and plan my time wisely. promos in 3months i heard. and i want to be tpjc's top student. seriously. sorry if i seem like im dreaming. :X but ya, with dreams come possibilities! so what makes u think i won't stand a chance to top tpjc? lol. but ok. this self motivation is pretty much uncalled for. whatever it is . bleh.

• friendster
• my blog
• justin's blog
• my room
• the table where i seek solace
• wardrobe
• sec sch stuff
• files
• bed
• bags
• cupboards
• mathematical induction
• binomian theorem
• respiration
• hess's law
• redox
• THE UPCOMING 'A' LEVELS CHINESE ORALS THAT CLASHES WITH THE SCHOOL HOLIDAY FOR TPJCIANS ON WEDNESDAY, 5th JULY. WAH I AM SUPER DUPER SAD.SUPER ULTRA SAD. i want my HOLIDAY ): I REALLY REALLY WANT MY HOLIDAY.
• climbing shoes.
• climb.
• lead.
• boulder.
• pe.
• napfa.
• homework.
• switching from a nocturnal freak to a normal being again.
• meet up with old school mates. like shahidah matilda vicki sabrina meiling sheena sylvia qiujin MADNESS. so much to do.
• sea sports carnival.
• interhouse rock climbing competition.
  

eiw bye. i promised to sleep early. in 48hrs, im gonna have..

1hr30mins + 4hrs = 5hrs 30mins of rest.

oh wow. i thought we're suppose to sleep for 8hrs a day? i don't even get 6hrs of sleep in two days. quite amazing isnt it.

ilovemybestfriend.

Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

"When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look
beside you and your best friend will be there."

hello everyone.
so sorry, im not here to blog about how happy i am cause the common tests ended. in fact, i am not very elated as i have my gp holiday assignments to complete by today. and i foresee another sleepless night.
whatever it is. sheesh about the common tests. there are more important things in life that comes before stupid exams which is a complete fiasco right from the beginning to the end.

i am sure all of us, or at least most of us, will have someone whom we first think of all the time other than our direct family.

Someone whom we can confide in no matter the situation.
Someone who shares a relationship so special and linked to your heart.
Someone who screams over the phone with you in the middle of the night.
Someone to bitch with when times are bad.
Someone to mug with when every other sane being is soundly in bed.
Someone who finds you a pain but loves you all the same.
Someone you're not afraid to cry to when something pains you.
Someone who brightens up your day in any way.
Someone who calls out to you in the most comforting manner.
Someone who is suppose to pick you up when you fall, but ends up laughing instead.
Someone who calls you a 'loser' but you feel alright.
Someone who calls you a 'dog' in a pet shop and you get all peeved.
Someone who thinks pineapples are disgusting.
Someone who can' t eat yummy mango.
Someone who knows every single dark secret you have.
Someone that first comes to mind when anything strikes.
Someone who is the reason why your handphone is not deemed useless.
Someone who opens her school bag and search for a worksheet in a way that seemed like she's searching for treasure in the deep sea.
Someone whom you can sms at four in the morning cause' you cannot get to bed.
Someone who hides in a corner in her school library to chat over the line with you.
Someone who laughs in the most hysterical way, ever.
Someone who doesn't call your name in full. (eg. jaz instead of jazreel)
Someone who is there in the oddest phase of life.
Someone whom we can never get sick of.
Someone you're missing and thinking of all the time.
Someone who walks the extra mile with you.

Someone who is there all the time.


there you go. That's a short description of best friend for you.
ok. maybe not all bestfriends are like that.
well, mine is.
my best friend is unique in her way and i adore her for that.


so now, i would like to introduce my best friend to all of you.

this is Sabrina Ng Huay Min. Don't mock at her picture for her passe hairdo, for i love her just the way she is. To you, she may just be a somebody you pass by in the streets. You may not even take a second look at her. And probably, that could have been your last time seeing her. Or maybe you're glad you never got to know her because she's behaving in the weirdest manner ever.

But to me, she is not a simple somebody. She is Jaz's only bestfriend and can never be replaced. Any glaring mistake she makes doesn't bother me in the slightest bit, afterall, no one is flawless and that's what makes her my bestfriend. I don't care of how others look at her. my best friend is perfect in my eyes.

Bestfriend, I LOVE YOU AND THANKS FOR EVERYTHING! psst we're not mediocre so i don't have to mention what am i thankful for. For one, you will know what i want to thank you for. Two, i have too much to thank you for, i dont know wher to begin. I LOVE YOU! and I LOVE YOU! hahahaha!

_____________________________

Have you found your best friend yet? He or she may be just right beside you. Or probably behind you to be the first to pick you up when you fall. Or perhaps, in front of you to guide you along your path in life and ridding all obstacles for you?

Search within. The bestfriend exists. They really do.

Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

thanks to meiling im wasting my time here. tsk. (:

actually, i just need to keep away from photosynthesis.
i seriously don't bother about NADP and ATP. just give me my veggies.

7 random facts about me:
i am a girl.
i love God.
i think my handphone is useless.
i watch tv.
i love shopping.
i never get enough of new clothes.
i am me.

7 random music:
All things are possible - Hillsongs
Always be my baby - Mariah Carey
zhiyang.
some random radio station.
the stupid kangta and vanness off my sis's stereo.
Crash and burn
At the Beginning

7 things i love the most:
spaghetti.
maths.
school.
apples.
bananas.
cereals.
i love my life because i have more than 7 things to love. thank goodness.

notice i failed to mention names? why of course? unless you're a thing. haha.
people are not like things.
people are not things.
well, at least to me. (:

7 things i say most:
don't know.
shut up.
haha.
why are we studying thisthisthis for?!
i need to do homework.
i got alot of homework.
i cannot finish my homework in time.

7 pple to do this:
sabrina
ng
huay
min
potato
hamburger
you.

yes sabri. to me, you've got a million splitting images. ((: thats seven of u up there.

HELPPP.



Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

i love spaghetti.
i love spaghetti.
i love spaghetti.
i love spaghetti.

spaghetti makes me happy.
spaghetti makes me crazy.
spaghetti.
spaghetti.
spaghetti.


i love spaghetti so much i can eat up to three plates in a go.
but that happens only in the comfort of my home.
i never seem to fill my tummy when it comes to eatin spaghetti.
i eat like a turtle outside home.
it's a conditioned reflex action.
something thats beyond control.
too bad.

i love spaghetti.

Learn how to eat spaghetti here.

________________
workload is not going down. in fact, it piles up.
in this environment that allows such random attitude and behaviour, my entry is considered pardonable.

byeeeee.



Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

this is just another random post from friendster i chanced upon.

You might agree with it,
but when it actuallyhappens 99% of girls
dont realize it till it istoo late
and that guy who did it is sofrustrated that
he has moved on to someone who will take
notice.

From a guys point of view:

We don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some
random guy walks into the room and you jump
upand tackle him, without even introducing us,
yeah,it pisses us off.

It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him
forteen minutes without even acknowledging thefact
that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy calls you,
but at 2 in themorning
we do get a little concerned. Nothing
isthat important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till
themorning.
__________________________________________

Also, when we tell you you're pretty/
beautiful/gorgeous/ cute/ stunning,
we freaking mean it.
Don't tell us we're wrong.
We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.

_________________________________________
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood im in.

LET US PAY FOR YOU!DON'T "FEEL BAD"
We enjoy doing it.It's expected.
Smile and say "thank you."

__________________________________________
Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's
looking,we'll be more impressed.

__________________________________________
You don't have to get dressed up for us.
If we're going out with you in the first place,you
don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest
skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup
you own.
We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you
are.honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful
whenshe's just in her pj's. or my tshirt and boxers,not
all dolled up

__________________________________________
Don't take everything we say seriously.
is a beautiful thing.
See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.

________________________________________
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
dont talk about how hot Morris Chesnutt,BradPitt, or
Jesse McCartny is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care.
You have girlfriends for that.
__________________________________________
Whatever happened to the
word "handsome"/"beautiful"?
I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me
with "Hey handsome!" instead of "Hey baby/stud/cutie/sexy"
or whatever else you can think of.
on the other hand im not sayin i woulndnt like it either ; )__________________________________________
Girls, I cannot stress this enough:IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY AGUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE. DITCHHIS SORRY, DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION ASS, AND FIND SOMEONE WHOWILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECTSomeone who will honor your morals.Someone who will make you smile when you'reatyour lowest.Someone who will care for you even when youmake mistakes.Someone who will love you, no matter how badyou make them feel.Someone who will stop what theyre doing justtolook you in theeyes....and say "i love you" .......AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT!



Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

hello there (:

im in the worst mental condition ever. somehow sequences and series are gonna be the bane of maths for me. im so dead. nonetheless, never failing to try harder.

ok. caught up with thieves&co. and weijian . met meilan on the way home. had ben&jerry's (NOT WITH MEILING. OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE BEEN PANGSEH'ED AGAIN, EH? lol.)

had a ball of time.

missing several people. many people.

matilda. jun jun. maggie tan mei qi. bidina. marianne. shahidah.


and i was so so so so so so so HAPPY YESTERDAY NIGHT. (: haha I RECEIVED THE SWEETEST SMS EVER. hahaha :X ok so retarded.

anw. bye. school tml. ):

• Essay
• Compre
• Maths by TML 2PM
• Chinese Oral Practice
• Chemistry Revision
• Biology
• Maths
• Bio
• Chem
• Maths

and a whole lot of stuff waiting.

tuesday, and u'll be back. yay yay yay. my BIG SURPRISE !

and wednesday, another SURPRISE! :D



Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..


had the entry divider changed. busy with project work research. it's getting pretty pointless. i'm researching on imnottoosurewhat. then again, at least i'm putting in effort to get my research done so that my poor leader can rest without having to worry over 4 mad female members. Poor him. He really has to handle 4 mad women.

No. 1 : Jazreel
Known for talking crap, making weird noises and entertains the group with senseless rubbish. however she produces productive work. Can get really serious to work when she feels like it. Puts in alot alot of effort; (just look at the number of times she edited her PI. an astonishing number of ELEVEN.) don't play play with Jazreel. she's total madness. She has people providing her with an endless supply of food.

No. 2 : Jasmine
Known for talking crap but has a control over herself, unlike Jazreel. Not really serious in her work. Nonetheless, puts in a great deal of effort and knows how to manage her time wisely. Good time management there. Dance has zapped up half of her. Provides Jazreel with food whenever she's hungry.

No. 3 : Lucinda
Known for talking crap. No control over herself whenever she sees her boyfriend, Kek. Drags the entire PW groups with her during PW to look for her boyfriend, Kek. And complains about hunger pangs ever so often. Whines super alot. Used her PI for our project. Lazy bum who vanishes into thin air as soon as the June holidays start. Another food provider of Jazreel's.

No. 4 : Sharon (aka Peipei)
Known for talking absolute crap. Nobody knows what is exactly running through her mind. Tells lame jokes that are not at all funny. Laughs at herself. Lugs two heavy bags. The locker is not enough for her. Enthusiasm boosts from an unknown strange source. Ignores all class gatherings. Deletes herself from the class. Disappears during lecture. Disappears during tutorials. Disappears from school at least once a week. what is she up to? i don't know. Interviewing her uncle who is of no use to our project, perhaps? Search me.


oh ha-ha-ha.

off to do my research, i hope.



Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net


lame stuff online. i need to study. i need to study.

I NEED YOU TO SCROLL DOWN TO READ THE ENTRY I PAINSTAKINGLY TYPED OUT THIS MORNING. SCRUTINIZE IT. JUST READ IT.

READ THE ENTRY BELOW. READ THE ENTRY BELOW.


ARGH!



Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

this post has absolutely nothing to do with my bizarre attraction to computers. my blog entry titles never ever made sense anyway. ok, i shall stop wasting time and start on this entry proper.

_____________
before i begin, i've got one quick question for the people we often refer to as BOYS MEN AND WADSOEVER THAT I DONT REALLY CARE : What are we girls to you? and what do you freaking know about love?
_____________
to the men : i hate having to talk about you under any circumstances. Probably it's the bad experience that i've went through that's causing me to be weary of you in any way. I'm sick and tired of it. the previous blog that i'd walked over months ago was all about one rotten apple, named Kenneth Lim Han Leong. Right now, i sit here by the laptop, sipping hot coffee, enjoying the moonlight and all i have to say is, "IM LOVIN' IT." it's not that i'm a fat kid who loves macs. but here today, right before you is a girl who'd walked out of that shadow and is living life to the fullest, in every way possible.

Ok, im not trying to imply that i am oh-so-tough or whatever. but here i am, a living example of a poor teenage girl who'd gone through so much in her life. you guys need to know that
WE GIRLS ARE NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH AND WE ARE NOT INFERIOR TO YOU GUYS IN ANY WAY.
we are not here for any of you to trample on. we are not your slaves or your joke.

I won't say all of you are rotten eggs. however, SOME are. just SOME. and here, we only need one rotten egg that'll ruin the entire basket. Maybe it's my luck, or maybe you can call it fate. For me to meet one rotten egg.. and another.. and another.. one following the next. Unfortunate or fortunate? i don't know. but i guess it's a plus-point cause' little did i know that you guys can be such bastards. the facade that lies within you reveals over time. your shameless actions and words can be such a turn off.

ask yourself, "WHY SHOULD GIRLS RESPECT YOU WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO GIVE THE SLIGHTEST RESPECT TO THE GIRLS? DON'T WE DESERVE THE RESPECT?"
for pete's sake, we're not dirt. even so, i reckon dirt is far better than YOU. and if you insist on regarding us as dirt, it's all thanks to you that we're behaving the way we are today.

You call us bitches. You call us sluts. Now, who are you to give us unkind names like these? yes, we're bitchy. We need to be bitchy to battle it out with you. Cause' you're nothing but a bunch of stinky horny bastards. If dirt makes us. Then, the devil makes you.

i don't want to go on further.

*the above solely goes out to the moronic guys.
NICE FRIENDLY GIGANTIC GUYS STILL DO EXIST. therefore, im not gonna be an ignorant girl who goes around stereotyping men. CAUSE THERE ARE NICE FRIENDLY GIGANTIC MEN AROUND STILL.


ok. enough of the ill-bred men in general. i shall now go into deeper details of a particular someone.
"Hello friend. No wait. you used to be my friend. probably 7 hours ago you were still my friend. but now you aren't. little did i expect you to stoop so low. to a level so low that even i'm not able to tolerate. you are just like Kenneth Lim Han Leong. Worse off? i dont know. and i dont really care.
I'm not trying to pin you down like a criminal. If you think you've done nothing wrong, fine. But i have to say something. rather, somethings. i have so much to tell you. so so so so so much.

Firstly, i would like to express my utter disappointment in you. i am awfully disgusted by your behaviour. You'll probably tell me that im siding with her just because she's my friend. But here i am, im telling you directly in your face, with the help of this laptop; She may be my superbly uberly close girlfriend. but i've always tried to stay neutral concerning the issues between the two of you. You know it. I HAVE NEVER EVER TOOK SIDES. i know of how hot-tempered and moody she can get because i've had them too. she shows them to me too. maybe not as often to me than to you. Yes, i admit to that. but since you claim to be her boyfriend, then take good care of her. im aware of how difficult it is to be loving someone like this. however, that difference doesnt make us love her less. I know you'll tell me i won't know how you feel. exactly, i won't know how you really feel because i am not you. BUT IM TELLING YOU THIS, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW SHE'S FEELING NOW BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT HER EITHER. i know of everything you've done for her just to make her happy. you went miles ahead of whatever you could just to see her smile. i commend you for putting in that effort. But if you think that those extra inches and miles you've walked gives you every right to do this, im so sorry. Im afraid you're wrong. So darn wrong.

Your will to put in that effort was on a voluntary basis. you did it on your part. You were the one who said you were willing to sacrifice. AND I'VE TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES BEFORE, IT'S ALL ABOUT GIVING AND TAKING. THERE'S NO PERFECT RELATIONSHIP IN THIS ENTIRE WORLD. NO SINGLE RELATIONSHIP IS FLAWLESS. SOMEONE HAS TO SACRIFICE. AFTERALL, TO GIVE IS TO RECEIVE. GET THAT SINKING INTO YOUR BRAIN RIGHT NOW.

i AM really really really disappointed. and im absolutely in a state of shock. complete shock. i want you to ask yourself "is this what i was expecting from you when i told you all about my failed relationship when i was like an unclaimed child lost in a shopping mall? you saw how sad i was, haven't you? YOU KNEW THAT I WAS SO FREAKING HURT WHEN KENNETH DID THAT TO ME, DIDN'T YOU? now, DO YOU KNOW THAT ANOTHER GIRL IS GETTING SO HURT BECAUSE YOU (YOU YOU YOU YOU!)ARE DOING THAT TO HER? and you knew it so well that it's gonna strike her so badly. so, you haven't quite understood what i have been telling you afterall have you? THE PAIN IS UNNERVING AND IT KILLS TO GO THROUGH IT." now i'm telling you, you don't know how we feel because simply put it, YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER JERK. to think i put my trust in you. YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON IN THIS ENTIRE PLANET WHOM I KNEW OF THAT WILL EVER DO THAT. now, i guess im wrong. even the last man who's there to prove his worth is gone. A TOTAL JERK.

either way, you're a DISGRACE to all men, OR you're a living example of what a 'some' men is. A JERK JERK JERK JERK JERK.

i don't even think the word JERK describes you. it's not enough to fully describe you. And, IT'S A DISGRACE TO ME BECAUSE I HAVE THE USE THE WORD 'JERK' ON A WORTHLESS SOMEONE LIKE YOU and unfortunately, 'JERK' begins with the letter J, just like JAZREEL, JAMES, JASMINE and whosoever.


When you say, "I love you," mean it.
YOU'VE BEEN GOING AGAINST YOURSELF WHEN YOU SAID I LOVE YOU TO HER WITHOUT MEANING IT. don't lie to yourself and her. YOU'RE NOT BEING FAIR. you're so selfish.

i'm not looking down on you. im not reprimanding you. im not fit to do that. im not qualified to do that. and you've got it. i deserve no rights to speak ill of you. I JUST WANT TO EXPRESS MY DISAPPOINTMENT. i want you to know, I'M SORRY IF YOU'RE HURT OR ANGRY COS' OF WHATEVER I'VE JUST TYPED. BUT IT DOESNT REALLY BOTHER ME. HERE I AM IN THE DEAD HOURS OF THE NIGHT TYPING SOMETHING LIKE THIS. SOMETHING LIKE THIS FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU WHO'S PROBABLY NOT WORTHY OF MY TIME.

BECAUSE I CARE. THAT'S WHY I BOTHER. I BOTHER MYSELF ABOUT YOU. I COULD BE SOUNDLY IN BED RIGHT NOW, AT THIS INSTANCE. BUT THE THOUGHT OF YOU IS LETHAL. THE MOMENT YOUR NAME IS MENTIONED, MY BLOOD SUBLIMES. WAYWARDS BOILING. I RAGE WITH ANGER AND I FEEL LIKE SMASHING TOMATOES INTO YOUR FACE. I WANT TO PULL YOUR EARS AND LET YOU FEEL PAIN. I WANT YOU TO CLIMB THE ROCK WALL NON-STOP UNTIL YOU GET FLAPPERS ON YOUR HANDS AND BLISTERS ON YOUR LEGS. I WANT YOU TO COOK A POT OF NOODLES AND LET IT POUR RIGHT DOWN YOUR BODY. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WHATEVER PHYSICAL PAIN THAT YOU WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH (as mentioned above) IS NOTHING COMPARED TO THE EMOTIONAL AND MENTAL SCAR THAT YOU HAVE INFLICTED ON HER. THAT SCAR WILL NEVER EVER BE ERASED. AND CAN NEVER BE.

that was your ruthless act. your selfish being at work.

im terribly ashamed of you. Of all perfect examples, why follow kenneth? he's not even a good role model to begin with.


for your dignity you pursue, I SHOWER YOU WITH SHAME.

to sum it up, there's only one word to describe me now. DISAPPOINTED. why? because of you. IT'S JUST YOU AND YOUR PACK OF LIES. "


BACK TO 'some' MEN :
i really wonder how you can bring yourself to send lovey dovey msges.. kiss her goodbye.. hug her to sleep.. and there you are, seeing another girl behind her back. and doing exactly what you've said and done, to another girl. ANOTHER GIRL. how can you allow yourself to DIVIDE YOUR LOVE AMONG DIFFERENT PEOPLE.


Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
don't come back begging and saying that you've regretted all that you've done to hurt us girls.

LIFE'S TOO SHORT FOR REGRETS. GET ON WITH YOUR PATHETIC LIFE.

do you even have a conscious to speak of?


you are one treacherous species.

i don't want to talk about you anymore. i'm afraid i'll not be left with any blood.

still, YES THERE ARE NICE FRIENDLY GIGANTIC MEN. DO NOT BE MISTAKEN. NOT ALL MEN ARE CRAPBUGS. THERE ARE FAITHFUL LOVING ONES. WE HAVE GENTLEMEN TOO.


here is one infamous quote from the nonexistent book of 'Random Quotes' which i would love to share;

"Don't boast the love you have because you don't even love enough to boast."

-Jazreel Tan Mei Xing, tpjc (06S07); inspired by Kenneth Lim Han Leong, the biggest moron in her life.

and i'm telling you, this scar reminds forever. it's lifelong. and it'll follow through our lives. i have that scar right here in my heart.




i've said my piece.

(in two hours that is.)


___________________
to the girl i've been loving ever so true, you know who you are.

dearest, i'll like to apologise if im not able to be there for you whenever you needed someone to be. i apologse for being so ignorant on my part as a friend. i apologise if you feel that i haven't done enough for you. but right here, i want you to know that i am here for you and always will be. nevermind your fury temper. it's okay to throw tantrums. i love you for who you are and will never forsake you. i dont' know how are you exactly feeling right now. but i do hope that everything will be alrigt. im not sure if you're feeling sad or angry. i dont know how much you're affected by that idiot who'd got us all fooled. now we know, they cannot be trusted. all these terrible creatures who crawl in and out of our lives. so often, we overlook the worthy ones and end up having to deal with nonsense like them. nonetheless, life is still good. life's still a bed of roses. we need love to live. yes. but who says love must come from someone of the opposite gender? you know i love you. you know sabrina loves you. you know matilda loves you. you know your family loves you. there are a gazillion number of people out there who loves you for just the way you are. you are unique in your own special way. until the right man comes along, we shall go all out to enjoy singlehood!

I LOVE YOU ALOT AND FOREVER WILL BE. MY LOVE FOR YOU RUNS DEEP WITHIN. IT RUNS SO FAR, YOU CANT IMAGINE.

i love you dearest girl.




Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

Wednesday;
my favourite people from tpjc are back. ((: those lovely girls got me a sweeeet sweeeet sweeeet gift from msia. and the hairclips too. ryan brought back my rock. YAY. still, i wish i were there. nonetheless, IM SO GLAD THAT ALL OF U REMEMBERED ME. and THANKS FOR THE VIDEO! haha. i was practically melting inside.

speed climbing was a horrendous experience for me. according to wina, i could have died up there in mid air if i was still so troubled by the malu factor at that moment in time. actually, i thought i'll just faint. fine, i shan't go into the details. im not even making sense to half the world.

sleepover at jiae's. it was awesome. but marinating chicken wings in the dead hours of the night can kill. esp when i've got school early in the morning the next day. and poor us (jiae adel jaz) were so traumatized by chickens and ketchup the whole night. and we slept with the 'tantalising' chicken smell. it smelt bad.
oh ya. and jiae refused to let me use the computer! all adeline's fault. LOL.

it was a night about boys, changjin, food, and chickens. adora went and never returned.

Thursday;
"We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you
No one told meI was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start
Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a...."
that song in my phone started playing away at 10am. went on and stopped. and returned every 5mins. i got so annoyed and switched off the alarm.
had a nightmaredaymare. woke up. and freaked out. ELEVEN AM. late for school. but i still had time to capture a couple of pics of patrick. (jiae's sis is a fan of patrick!) PATRICK IS SO CUTE. adel and jiae sent me to the busstop. went to school looking totally shagged.
pe shorts. house tee. messy hair. big bag. big paper bag. SLIPPERS. and i was LATE.


everyone started laughing at me when i entered the class :X
mr. ng : "wah y u lidat."
....
blah blah blah. so speechless.

almost slipped and died while rushing to my locker after lesson. my slippers were useless. and the rain proved the uselessness of them.

randomness : adeline is a dirty lazy girl. ((: and i love jiae's house.


bathed. changed. got ready. met the rest of the J1s at pasir ris. did loads of preparation.. (yanling adeline and me reckoned that we were not needed in any way. so we went camera whoring instead. lol)

the pig attempted to strangle the duck. but the duck went for the goose first. poor goose died.

//that's one classic massacre shot.

those are some pics we took before the barbeque. ive got tonnes more but blogger's too slow. basically, it was just adeline and jazreel who were doing nothing but snapping away. ((: we're lovin' it.

had bbq. climbed the 'mock' batu caves. and ended up getting all wet cos' we started splashing water at yanling. and adeline pushed me down cause i first did that to her. to think we promised each other not to swim. security guard spotted us swimming in clothes, and the girls immediately did something at the other side of the pool, hoping that we would not be chided. xp thank goodness it was an all girls' affair.

it wasnt a long night but it was totally fruitful and fulfilling. ROCK CLIMBING CLUB is definitely much more bonded thruogh the farewell yest. THE SENIORS WILL ALWAYS BE MISSED!

adeline and jazreel proceeded to more phototaking after changing into our dry teeshirts and still wearing our shorts thats soaking wet.

to save time, i shall just upload them on shutterfly :X

( :: picture perfect :: )

ok lah but just a few more here. lol

ok. adeline and jazreel bids goodbye. till then.

__________________

TO MEILING : HELLO. WE'RE SUPPOSE TO BE OUT THERE B*TCHING OK. IVE GOT LOADS TO TELL U. BUT YOU PS ME FOR UR PRIMARY SCHOOL FRIENDS. IM MUFFLED. U CHOSE ROYCE CHEN OVER JAZREEL TAN! ARE U SURE U SHOULD DO THAT??!! ARGGG. TODAY'S SUPPOSE TO B OUR BEN&JERRY'S DAY. U BLUFF ME. )): but anw, UVE GOT LOADS OF PATIENCE TO UPLOAD THOSE PICS IN UR BLOG MAN!

brg ur camera the nex time we go out. it's your punishment. IM GONNA FLOOD UR CAM. (look at the above and u know what im capable of when it comes to dealing with the CAMERA) hahahah! ok la. i love u still.. ((: PROMISE NOT TO PS ME AGAIN!! eeee you!

Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

Though times may change,
and seasons pass,
some things remain,
as they are meant to last.
A rainbow we seek,
at the end of the way,
obsured in smoke,
and the light of day.
What of the future,
we know not to be.
What of the past,
is but just a memory.
Yet all that keeps us,
is thoughts of each other.
Good or bad,
or of love forever.
Perhaps at it all,
we will find our rainbow.
A message from God,
there will be a tomorrow.
And that fairy-tale prince,
which you have long sought.
An angel to keep,
it is all not for naught.
So part we must,
at this time of our choosing.
To meet again,
when God He is willing.
And in this hope always,
I'll cherish forever.
To see you again, my lovely dear.



Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

there are a hundred and one reasons as to why i love sabrina. more than words could ever express. i promise to love her till the end of time. ((:

( :: and the reason is you :: )

ok. i shall go to sleep NOW. promise. ((: in dreamland. lovelove. byeeeee.



Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..


somehow, sab and i ended up recollecting our pri sch days cos i casually mentioned abigail. :X lol. not quiet casual. not nvm.

so i spent more than 2hrs entertaining that girl and hear her whine about the missing sch mag. haha. how ignorant of a 17yr old teenager. ((:

as promised in an entry all abt my old days, here are the photos.
uploaded them and editted the captions. haha. guaranteed for some laughs. to see my silly self again.. tgr with all my pals.. pity i nv owned a cam in that era.

here for the pics
( :: memories :: )

goodie. haha. and i apologise if miss gina tan scares u abit. ((: i cant operate shutterfly.

a random extraction from our chat. haha. commenting on ME in that P3 class foto. hha.
( :: sunshine :: )


ok. its late and i know i ought to get going. soon soon. im just as tired..
i cant wait for the sun to rise. i cant wait to go to school. im meeting all my lovely rockclimbers again!! yay!!

to the dear boy:
pls pls pls go to bed soon. ((: GPP's important but u need rest too! u're not too well yet, remember?? i reckon the splint is not on anyway. haha but i shall stop being a naggy granny. just remember to put it back on. ure allowed only 10mins a day dear boy! peekaboo, this portion is all for YOU! lovelove!

P.S. i miss u as much as you miss me. perhaps, EVEN MORE. (:

_________________________

four - five years down the road, i promise, i'll wear that robe again. and the mortar board will be. hahaha.

give me time, u'll see me fly. i promise you, i'll soar up high. loves, jazreel. haha.

Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

either im too sad or too bored that i have no idea what am i gonna blog about next. so i'll continue crapping like ive always been doing.

Name 20 ppl u can think of at the top of your head.

1. sabrina
2. the girl at the ben&jerry's scoop shop with the butterfly earrings
3. vicki
4. matilda
5. sylvia the little girl
6. steffi
7. zhiyang
8. gareth
9. jasmine
10. mr. kevin ng
11. jiayi
12. adeline
13. erwina
14. adora
15. yanling
16. ryan
17. suxin
18. jinxian
19. sharon ho
20. the man in my head who never existed in reality.

there are more than 100 images of the people i miss every single second. 20's not enough. :X

How did you meet 14?
rockCLIMBING (:

What would you be if you never met 1?
i wouldnt be so racist today. hahaha. mistook 1 for 11 :X i won't be what i am today. i would have died without sabrina by my side.

What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
20 never existed.

Did you ever like 19?
yes. she bought me notes. ((:

Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
no. kang's better for steff.

Describe 3.
vicki is the dearest girl ive met. and she feels guilty for not studying. temper runs short. she's scary. but i love her still!

Do you think 8 is attractive?
haha how can my dear boy not be? lol.

Tell me something about 7.
he's so cute i can run 1000km just to see him again. (if my stamina permits)

Do you know any of 12's family?
the animal family, yes. im part of it. ((: ahh my lovely chickeedy.

What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you?
over the moon. i like her even more.

What language does 15 speak?
english. ((: chinese = greek.

Who is 9 going out with?
rif.

How old is 16 now?
16 is 16 now.

When was the last time you talked to 13?
last thurs. just before the KL thing. ):

Who's 2 favourite band/singer?
i dunno. :X

Would you date 7?
love to! haha

Is 15 single?
i guess so.

What's 10's last name?
kevin? ng? or something else?

Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 11?
we're never serious. lol

What school does 3 go to?
lovely tjc.

Where does 6 live?
in my heart.

Whats your favourite thing about 5?
she's practically my soulmate!

Have you seen no.1 naked?
lemme seee. have i? have i? have i?
ahhh sabri's conservative. ((: LOL

__________________________________________

actually my week hasn't been too bad. many made my weekend good. i did quite abit of shopping. caught up with the one i haven been seeing since march. and staring intently at my books practically everyday. and im really wondering if anything's sinking in.

suppose to be studying with bobby chickeedy at duckie's place . ahhhh )):

and im starting to go head over heels for "At the Beginning" by Donna Lewis and Richard Marx, hahaha. i dont know why.

__________________________________________

ok well forget it. i need some kind of discipline. bye.

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