Sunday, September 10, 2006 ♥
Last footprint@3:12 AM
Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..
because i know you are gonna read this so im bothered to go through all this unnecessary trouble to type this shit.
hello.
now,so what if you studied geography. may i know of ur definition of STUDYING? if studying means opening the book, reading the words, then close the book. Congratulations. after 13 years of being on earth, you have yet to grasp the crux to studying. forget about efficiency. if that is your attitude towards studying, you can freaking forget about promoting on further in this education system. being able go to the normal academic stream, to me, i see it as sheer luck. it was no effort i saw. no hard work. no sweat. it was sheer luck and that God has saw you through; wanting you to promote. God wanted to give you a second chance. and i remember vividly, you promised to do better. you said you'll do your best.
but hey,sorry. what i'm seeing now is nothing close to your best effort. there is simply no reason why you should be so focused in band, and neglecting your studies. and look, your attitude sucks. i didn't wish i would be here typing this to you because hey, the mugger here wants to mug. not blog. not blog for stupid shitass childish reasons. but because your refusal to listen is getting on my nerves. my tolerance level is not very high. and i apologise if you're feeling downright pissed with me now. but i don't care.
something needs to be done. some things just need to sink into that mind of yours. come on. you've come this far. this is the last
academic race (or whatever you call that) of the year. finish it. go all out.
because you are doing all these for YOURSELF. not for mummy. not for daddy. and ultimately, not me. i am not going to rely on you in my ageing years. and neither am i gonna be the one who provides for you in your years. you are going to be self reliant. you decide your future.
and if you wish to continue being idolent AND isolent; fine. why not think about the exam as a major band performance. do your revision like how you would for band practices. i've seen your commitment. i've seen your flaming passion. and i don't deny, i admire you for that because i dont have the drive and passion in anything im doing. perhaps, i haven't found the right thing to truly enjoy doing just yet.
i'm sorry if im a crazy mugger in your eyes, and you hate it cos your sister is a freaking mugger who mugs day in and day out. but i dont really care. cause i study (yes, for the sake of studying), but im so damn proud to say it in your face; ive put in every bloody effort and did all that i could. today, i am a winner; in my own eyes. and now, I AIM FOR ACE. NOT A PASS.
dont tell me that shit about "don't aim for pass den what. aim for fail isit" .
please. passing is not an aim. it is a must. just why shouldnt you be aiming for a higher target since you know you already have what it takes to pass your maths. that is total bullshit. and don't complain about failing
this that this subject after getting back your results. why not do something NOW. and then look at the results later? it's never too late.
if you're not gonna help yourself, no one's gonna help you.
i didnt type this to infuriate you. i just hope that this will be a final wake up call. i am sick and tired of screaming at you. eventhough i don't and am not responsible for monitoring your revision schedule, i hope for the best for you. i want you to get the best grades, the best everything. no. best doenst equate to 100% in every subject or everything you do. best equals to trying to achieve with all that you have, so that at the end of the day, whatever you're gonna reap will be satisfying. maybe not in the eyes of others. but by then, you can stand proudly (on the podium or the dining table or whatever) and shout like the way you do best "I DID IT!"
i dont want you to be crying at one corner someday. i want to you amplify yourself.
show everyone else what you're capable of.
i believe you can.
i know you can.
you know you can.you will when you believe.
♥ Loved, yourname
