Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

byebye blogger! my day is screwed. i shall vent it all out on you.

so, im leaving you for good.
no more late night cravings to blog here.
i shall disturb you no more.


im going elsewhere. (:

LOVEenduresforever !



Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

because i know you are gonna read this so im bothered to go through all this unnecessary trouble to type this shit.

hello.
now,so what if you studied geography. may i know of ur definition of STUDYING? if studying means opening the book, reading the words, then close the book. Congratulations. after 13 years of being on earth, you have yet to grasp the crux to studying. forget about efficiency. if that is your attitude towards studying, you can freaking forget about promoting on further in this education system. being able go to the normal academic stream, to me, i see it as sheer luck. it was no effort i saw. no hard work. no sweat. it was sheer luck and that God has saw you through; wanting you to promote. God wanted to give you a second chance. and i remember vividly, you promised to do better. you said you'll do your best.

but hey,sorry. what i'm seeing now is nothing close to your best effort. there is simply no reason why you should be so focused in band, and neglecting your studies. and look, your attitude sucks. i didn't wish i would be here typing this to you because hey, the mugger here wants to mug. not blog. not blog for stupid shitass childish reasons. but because your refusal to listen is getting on my nerves. my tolerance level is not very high. and i apologise if you're feeling downright pissed with me now. but i don't care.

something needs to be done. some things just need to sink into that mind of yours. come on. you've come this far. this is the last academic race (or whatever you call that) of the year. finish it. go all out.

because you are doing all these for YOURSELF. not for mummy. not for daddy. and ultimately, not me. i am not going to rely on you in my ageing years. and neither am i gonna be the one who provides for you in your years. you are going to be self reliant. you decide your future.

and if you wish to continue being idolent AND isolent; fine. why not think about the exam as a major band performance. do your revision like how you would for band practices. i've seen your commitment. i've seen your flaming passion. and i don't deny, i admire you for that because i dont have the drive and passion in anything im doing. perhaps, i haven't found the right thing to truly enjoy doing just yet.

i'm sorry if im a crazy mugger in your eyes, and you hate it cos your sister is a freaking mugger who mugs day in and day out. but i dont really care. cause i study (yes, for the sake of studying), but im so damn proud to say it in your face; ive put in every bloody effort and did all that i could. today, i am a winner; in my own eyes. and now, I AIM FOR ACE. NOT A PASS.
dont tell me that shit about "don't aim for pass den what. aim for fail isit" .
please. passing is not an aim. it is a must. just why shouldnt you be aiming for a higher target since you know you already have what it takes to pass your maths. that is total bullshit. and don't complain about failing this that this subject after getting back your results. why not do something NOW. and then look at the results later? it's never too late.

if you're not gonna help yourself, no one's gonna help you.

i didnt type this to infuriate you. i just hope that this will be a final wake up call. i am sick and tired of screaming at you. eventhough i don't and am not responsible for monitoring your revision schedule, i hope for the best for you. i want you to get the best grades, the best everything. no. best doenst equate to 100% in every subject or everything you do. best equals to trying to achieve with all that you have, so that at the end of the day, whatever you're gonna reap will be satisfying. maybe not in the eyes of others. but by then, you can stand proudly (on the podium or the dining table or whatever) and shout like the way you do best "I DID IT!"
i dont want you to be crying at one corner someday. i want to you amplify yourself.

show everyone else what you're capable of.

i know you can.
you know you can.

you will when you believe.



Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

an email sprung open.

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or Saying nothing and wishing you had?

I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs.

Have u ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much; for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.

Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid; afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger .

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could?? have had.

What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye?
What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)
What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?
What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?

People live, but people die.

I want to tell you that you are a friend.If you died tomorrow (God Forbid) you would be in my heart.

Would I be in yours?

I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life, I look up to you, respect you and truly cherish you.

___________

today, let's take a look at the heartwarming snapshot of Ronald MacDonalds and PATRICK THE STARFISH. (i know it unflatters patrick. but it's so cute la. )




Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..


see; that's how cool old school is.

cabbed back to temasek the very minute stupidloser tpjc dismissed us.

on the way, memories of old school started to flood my mind. i realise i haven't been taking bus 10, 14 or 12 to temasek in what seemed like a million years. perhaps, as a matter of fact, i haven't really even been taking any bus since i stepped into tpjc.

tpjc is hell.

everything about temasek was good. too good to be true. those days spent together.. with the juniors.. the seniors.. the teachers.. and even the janitors. i loved temasek. it was very much like my second home. and we complained that food there tasted bad. wait till you try tpjc's. even our favourite prata man is leaving cos he sold black pepper chicken. tpjc is that stupid. i miss the witty people i meet everyday in lively tms. the halal lor mee was heavenly; it was drowned in starchy brown gravy and what crispy toppings. not forgetting the burger stall which sold me empty icecream cones at 10cents each. i loved seeing the canteen decked in blue red and yellow. the canteen was so attractive it lured birds from all directions. actually, they were pecking on the food remains on the table. but still, it owns the kopitiam-ish canteen in tpjc. i used to kope tissue paper from the teachers' dining area. school was that fun. that thrilling, especially when you have the musical Loke interrogating to as to why she should give you a piece of tissue. secondary school was full of bullshit. but the shit smelt good.

temasek's canteen is now one notch closer to being the best canteen in the entire world cause' i spotted new vending machines yesterday. and guess what i saw. HOHO YOGHURT! those lucky kids...

i still remember the story about temasek's water fountain being sold to anglican high school cause' we were too poor to even pay off our electrical bills. so hilarious.

miss lela looked so different with her new haircut. it looked like a small kid who unintentionally snapped off her hair with a pair of shiny scissors; and a strong breeze came at that very minute. her hair looks sad.

liu lao shi looked very much the same. seemingly skinny. just like the last time i saw her. still, she is the bestest teacher EVER (: eventhough i got a blardy b3 for chinese :X haha but it's not her fault la.

so much for the teachers.
i didnt really see any teacher actually. not like any of them bothered to take a second look at me; except for an exchange of a few sentences with liu lao shi. i told u she's a nice woman (: damn nice.

and i was too shocked when i heard that MR. CHOOI; my FAVOURITE MICKEY MOUSE CHEMISTRY TEACHER IS NO LONGER IN TEMASEK! ): i could have cried man. i missed him so much. he is so nice. his jokes were so lame they made me cry. ahh mr. chooi, why ACS(i)... tms needs u. I WANT TO SEE YOU! ahhhhhh.


it was a cuddly day and i FINALLY SAW SHAHIDAH SHIDDIK AND SHEENA HARDIE after what seemed like forever! and bloody! KENNETH LIM HAN LEONG! hahahahhahaha. i've been wanting to meet him. and it was such a pleasant surprise. if only he'd responded more lively to my friendly wave, i would have been able to kill him with my 'hello darling i miss you' antics. or rather, 'hi there. i am kenneth's ex. care to chat?' it was such a waste. but i sympatise with him thou.

anyhows, met half of 4E. was at a loss for words. i truly missed this bunch of people most. no doubt, we havent been very bonded as a class over the period of 2 years, i still thought that the friendship we shared was pretty unique and close to heart.

everything about teenagedays we had was true and is now gone. fading away i guess.

amazing how time flies. the times we shared together. not crystal clear but sparkling, im sure.

i miss temasek.



Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

little did i realise i would need that good old private blog AGAIN. i've just had the entire sub-blog deleted close to 24hours ago.

yes, just TWENTY FOUR HOURS AGO.

and now, i wished i never did dump it. it contained all my bitchings and cryouts to myself thanks to the loser ex-bf.
of course, that's not the point.

my life has taken a turn and overnight, i just found out that i am ugly in your beautiful eyes.
certainly, i don't overrate myself and think i am uber pretty.
but hey, don't call me ugly and come close to me, trying so hard to earn my trust.

bloody hypocrite.

talk about getting hurt? look here. look here. HERE HERE HERE IS ONE PATHETIC UGLY BITCH. look at me. thanks for running me down like that.

THAT IS SO VERY MUCH APPRECIATED.

thank God for bestfriend's sudden want for a private bitching avenue. so screw u inside out upside down. i'm out of blogger for bitchings. i've got wadwadwadwadwad to go to.

screw you. i am downright pissed.

BESTFRIEND, GO TO WADWADWADWADWADWADWAD. I NEED TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE HAS READ IT.

i haven't been so angry eversince i don't know when.
so, for once,
FUCK IT.

LEAVE ME ALONE SINCE I AM FUCKED UP UGLY.
cause even without you, life for me right now is perfect.

i think comic sans is super nice.

Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..





Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..





Dear diary,
I'm falling in love..

tpjc.net is so annoying.

and i found out that mybestfriend's drawing on the com can suck quite abit.
im not lying (:
i want to post pictures but the computer's being such an idiot.


MEILING PLEASE DO NOT KILL ME. I LOVE U OKAY. THANKYOU THANKYOU. (:
i know who cornelyus is now. HAHAH. and if u insist, okay, he is a bastard then. HAHAH.

AHH WE SHLD BE TWINS WITH THE MEILING AND MEIXING THING.
you make sucky tpjc MUCH MUCH MORE WONDERFUL!

this is the journey that'll never end...

PLEASE MEET ME FOR BITCHINGS SOON. (:

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